❰PDF❯ ❤ Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers Author Lois P. Frankel – Saudionline.co.uk

Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers quotes Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers, litcharts Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers, symbolism Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers, summary shmoop Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers, Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers 37b87f93 If You Work Nonstop Without A Breakworry About Offending Others And Back Down Too Easilyexplain Too Much When Asked For Informationor Poll Your Friends And Colleagues Before Making A Decision, Chances Are You Have Been Bypassed For Promotions And Ignored When You Expressed Your Ideas Although You May Not Be Aware Of It, Girlish Behaviors Such As These Are Sabotaging Your Career Dr Lois Frankel Reveals Why Some Women Roar Ahead In Their Careers While Others Stagnate She S Spotted A Unique Set Of BehaviorsIn All That Women Learn In Girlhood That Sabotage Them As Adults Now, In This Groudbreaking Guide, She Helps You Eliminate These Unconscious Mistakes That Could Be Holding You Back And Offers Invaluable Coaching Tips You Can Easily Incorporate Into Your Social And Business Skills If You Recognize And Change The Behaviors That Say Girl Not Woman , The Results Will Pay Off In Carrer Opportunites You Never Thought Possible And In An Image That Identifies You As Someone With The Power And Know How To Occupy The Corner Office

10 thoughts on “Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers

  1. says:

    This book had some useful advice, although I think it was over generalized and really meant for women working at large corporate America type companies As a female who just recently started a career at a small but very successful family owned business, I don t feel like all of these rules necessarily apply to my situation But I had larger issues with this book First, I found that the author seems to use men s behavior as the standard for how the workplace should function She frequently states that women shouldn t do certain things because you don t see men doing them and that that there are some things we should do because that s how men behave I understand that most large, successful companies are likely to be run by men, but she almost makes it seem like they can do no wrong and that moving up is necessarily achieved by acting like a man I would have appreciated an approach that made me feel like I m allowed to retain some of my womanness Second, for many of the coaching tips at the end of each mistake, she references other books to read I don t know if she was just lazy or had struck a deal with these other authors to cross promote books, but either way I was disappointed Supposedly she s read these other books, so I would have liked to have seen her provide a substantial summary of their content and cite them the author has a Ph.D., so I m sure she knows how to properly review background literature.

  2. says:

    As cliched as it sounds, this book was a revelation to me As a young feminist who is just starting out in her career, I was relatively certain that the professional world would have changed since Frankel wrote her book and that acting in a professional yet reserved fashion would be sufficient in today s workplace Clearly, I was mistaken although not as much as I thought.Frankel first has the reader take a 49 question quiz, which is able to determine which of the eight areas are both your strong and weak points My strengths were in how you think, how you look, and how you play the game Honestly, parts of the how you look section of the book was a bit ridiculous and somewhat dated, even though this book is but 8 years old, don t wear inappropriate makeup, dress appropriately, grooming in public, wrong hairstyle, etc , but the DC Interns blog, cataloging all the mishaps of our annual guests, exists for a reason All of these examples show up repeatedly in that blog, so clearly, this issue still exists For me, the parts about dressing the part were the easiest it was the physical ways of holding yourself that I learned I needed to work on My weakest points were in how you market yourself and how you respond, two areas that I knew I had problems.I gleaned many, many tips from the book my poor library copy was tabbed to pieces , mostly subtle things that I can easily put into action indeed, I already have tried out many of these action items How You Play the Game 1 Allow yourself to waste a little time each day Wasting time, like getting coffee or going out to lunch, allows you to build personal relationships with your coworkers Which might help you in getting another job later While I might feel a bit guilty stepping away from my desk to grab coffee with coworkers, building these personal relationships over the years has been good for my personal life new friends but it might pay off professionally Not, of course, that my coworkers are only good for finding other jobs 2 Stop volunteering for low profile, low impact assignments Just because I can volunteer doesn t mean that I should Additionally, stop trying to help out in solving problems It sounds a bit cold hearted especially to someone who seems to have this crazy need to help everyone everytime , but avoid the inclination to want to solve the problem for them It s their problem, not yours I think this is all part of learning how to say NO Easier said than done, I know 3 Taking breaks A former coworker mentor of mine said that she had to take breaks throughout the day so that she wouldn t lose her mind I didn t realize the importance of her wise words at the time what, you mean I can leave my desk for a bit , but now I try to get up and move around for a bit every few hours Coffee, lunch, a brief walk outside all help to better my mood and make me productive when I get back to my desk.4 Couch requests in the form of a statement Don t ask TELL Make it a fait accompli Would only work if you make plans I ve added money to the budget for extra training and staff members instead of just asking for money 5 Don t necessarily avoid office politics I love politics, but office politics especially in small offices terrify me You need to define what you have to offer to another person and what you need want from the other person Each time you go out of your way for someone or give them what you they need, you ve earned a figurative chip that you can later cash in for something you need Everything is in exchange for something else My problem actually cashing in my chips I hate asking people for things.6 Don t be the office conscience Obviously, if something is heinously wrong, tell someone, but you need to weigh the benefit of pointing out minor infractions against the possible consequences.7 DON T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP Probably my 1 problem, both professionally and academically If I don t 100% have to talk, I won t Too many occassions of being told how dumb my opinion thought comment question was has made me incredibly wary of ever opening my mouth, even if I know that I m right I know that I need to speak up , and a good way of doing this is to practice speaking up in meetings or class at least once per session It gets easier each time And this is totally true 8 Capitalize on relationships As I m working on my grad thesis, I ve learned how important this is Nobody will want to talk to you, but if you namedrop refer to others get an introduction, getting information what you want becomes much easier I think this goes together with 5 How You Act 1 Don t poll before you make a decision, aka crowdsourcing, of which I m very guilty of doing I think it s fine when you re trying to decide where to meet for dinner or what to wear, but professionally, it shows that you can t make a decision Action item take risks make small decisions without input Figure out what you have to lose if you do X.2 Stop needing to be liked I think this is so ingrained in teaching gender roles that it s better to be liked than many other things Remember that when people are angry annoyed at you, it might be because they re trying to get you to do something that they want act a certain way I m not sure that I 100% agree with this, but I do know that being liked isn t necessarily the best method of achieving what you want at the risk of everything else.3 ASK QUESTIONS STOP FEELING SCARED OF SOUNDING STUPID Yup, easily my 1 problem I was always taught that it s better to not say anything and have people think you re dumb than to open your mouth and have it confirmed, but I do know that such thinking is wrong Correcting years of that, though, is rough Asking questions to understand is a sign of confidence, not ignorance If asking a question will help other people, definitely go for it Best takeaway from this entry If people make you feel stupid over a question you ve asked, you can assume it s their problem, not yours If they do it consistently, ask them point blank why they feel the need to put you down just because you ve asked a question The last part will be rough to put in action hello, fear of confrontation , but it s definitely valid.4 Don t give the whole truth unless it s 100% necessary This is so true with job applications Women are apt to not apply for a job if they don t meet all qualifications, while men will apply when it s about a 75% match of skills to qualifications Two key points Don t make a mistake worse by embellishmentAvoid the tendency to agree or explain, and don t allow yourself to feel bad about it Practice saying, I understand what you re saying, and I ll keep that in mind in the future And It s true I don t have all the qualifications listed, but what makes me a viable candidate is my depth of hands on experience Definitely something to keep in mind as I job search 5 Don t share too much personal information If a personal situation is affecting job performance, don t explain, but say, I m going through a rough time right now but my job is important to me I ll work on paying closer attention to the details 6 Don t always feel the need to help Because women are taught early in their lives that others must know than they do, so knowledge and self confidence must be gained externally Helping others is one way capable women gain external validation for their self worth SO TRUE How You Think This was by far my strongest attribute, but there are still some things I need to work on.1 Manage expectations don t get taken advantage of Be willing to go the extra mile, but make sure to tell people when an expectation is unrealistic.2 PERFECTIONISM Perfect is the enemy of the good is something I need tattooed on me somewhere Strive for 80% perfection the difference between 80% and 100% is so small and often won t be noticed, but it will buy you time for other important tasks How You Brand and Market Yourself And one of my worst categories I hate selling myself see my review of Do What You Love it s classic ISTJ behavior, apparently , but I know that I need to become much better at it, especially during a job hunt.1 Make a list of 3 5 things you enjoy at work, then translate them into strengths, and then note how that makes you different than others.2 Don t sell yourself short When offered a position or assignment that s new to you, TAKE IT If others have enough confidence in you that you can do the job, YOU SHOULD, TOO I need to remember this.3 DON T BE SO MODEST Again, I think this is so ingrained in women that it s hard to take credit for a job well done Stop saying Oh, it was nothing It WAS something Learn how to say thank you after being given a compliment I m trying so hard on this one, and I think some things are actually beginning to sink in 4 Get out of your safety zone this is one I actually did before reading this book After a bit of pressure boost of confidence from a coworker, I volunteered for a writing assignment, and my boss said sure And now I m quite nicely doing it I m stretching my skill set and learning new things If you re willing to take the calculated risk of possibly failing, it s not selfish to learn on the job 5 Stop doing stereotypical girl jobs, like making coffee or copies If asked, you should suggest that the duty be on a rotating basis I m not necessarily guilty of this so far , but this would be a good one to remember when I find another job that isn t as laid back in terms of office attitude we all get our own coffee and make our own copies if needed as the one I have now I have a feeling this might be an issue later on This comes up again in How You Respond, but learn to say It s a big deal to me if your boss complains about you not wanting to make coffee, etc How You Sound 1 Stop using upspeak making every statement sound like a question I think I ve gotten myself out of this this completely, but I know that I m much likely to couch opinions as questions, which I need to stop Be assertive 2 Don t always explain Just because you know about a subject doesn t mean you need to say it all Depending on your level of expertise, it may be incomplete to you, but not to the other person This goes along with thinking that everyone knows than you do.3 Don t ask for permission just inform By informing others you show respect for their need to know, but without your action being contingent upon their approval If people have a problem, they ll let you know 4 STOP APOLOGIZING JUST STOP Apologizing for unintentional, low profile, non egregious errors erodes our self confidence and, in turn, the confidence others have in us If something is egregious, apologize ONCE, then move on turn it into an objective assessment and think of ways to fix the problem Always think that you re EQUAL to the other person someone may be of higher rank, but that doesn t make them better hard habit to break from a military background, though.5 Practice saying thank you Goes along with accepting compliments Don t downplay what you did Thank you I m quite proud of what I achieved and must give some credit to those who helped me along the way 6 Directly answer whatever question there is Don t waffle Take a risk say yes or no You don t have to be 100% perfect better than sounding wishy washy 7 DON T TALK TOO FAST Something else I m 100% guilty of I think my opinion isn t valid, so I try to talk on the rare occasions that I do talk as quickly as possible so that someone else with a better opinion can speak STOP THAT You are entitled to be seen and heard You are entitled to take all the time you need to convey your message 8 Stop using touchy feely language Be assertive I think I believe I intend I would like Be strong Be direct Language strongly conveys messages about us, so show that you re strong and decisive This comes up again in How You Respond To counter being treated inappropriately, learn to tell people what you really think I would appreciate it if you did X 9 Speak up Have a loud er voice This one reminds me of a scene from the book Contact Ellie is in graduate school in a male dominated field physics, I think , and nobody will ever listen to her in class, so she comes up with this persona authoritative, strong, loud, CONFIDENT She says that it makes her laugh to listen to herself speak that way, since it s not her at all, but she gets results People LISTEN This comes up again in How You Respond Be one of the first few people to speak up at a meeting you never want to be the last person to speak The longer you wait to speak, the likely it is that someone else will say what you re thinking and get credit for it This is one of my biggest issues in speaking up in class I ll be thinking something but won t say it for fear of sounding stupid, and then someone else goes on to say the exact same thing and get praised for brilliance And if only I had spoken up How You Look A bit dated, but clearly relevant, given what all I ve seen on the Metro of women dressed for work.1 Stop taking up too little space This is so easy to put into practice The space you take up, the confident you appear In elevators, now, I try to stop cowering in the corner to make room for others Obviously, don t hog all the space, but that space is yours You re entitled to it Take it 2 Stop sitting on your foot I honestly have no idea what this means I m trying to picture this in my head, but I can t imagine what this means Is this tucking a foot under the other under your chair Or is this actually sitting on your foot IN your chair If it s the latter, that s just wildly unprofessional and nobody should ever do that, but if it s the former, I m a little confused as to how I should actually sit, then 3 MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT One I m 100% guilty of, but I m working on it Apparently, it means that I m uncomfortable usually true in social situations anyway and unsure of myself But I need to get out of that habit How You Respond This was by far my worst category Women are not taught to defend ourselves or get angry when someone is disrespectful to us, teaching us to be tolerant of people who treat us like crap 1 Stop internalizing messages I need to read The Drama of the Gifted Child how parenting sorry, Mom placed unrealistically high expectations on them I wonder if this is why I have such a horrible case of Impostor Syndrome 2 Stop thinking everyone knows than you Impostor Syndrome, yet again.3 Stop being so patient If you don t ask, it might not happen promotions, etc If told that you re being impatient, ask when a good time would be to revisit the issue If asked to wait a long time, ask WHY such a long time is needed.4 Put yourself first I tell my sister this all the time, but the only person looking out for you is YOU Easier said than internalized It is NOT selfish to have your needs met Have a life outside of work, especially I ve added to issues above where topics discussed in this section relate These action items are harder to put into practice than others, since these are about changing your worldview completely Overall, I was really impacted by this book It has given me some great tips on how to act professionally and what all I need to do to help make a successful career I took off one star for the chapter on How You Look, since to me, it seemed ridiculous and dated HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Source Reddit posting on women in business

  3. says:

    Nice Girls Don t Get the Corner Office 101 by Lois P Frankel is a book that all women should receive upon graduation from college It is amazing what we, the female gender, do to undermine ourselves without realizing it Many of us, who come from homes that were supportive and definitely didn t pigeonhold us into the subservient female role, would never imagine how much we have picked up from the social cues and trends around us Though, until recently, I would have not realized that I suffered from nice girl syndrome , nor would I have connected it to ill health in my professional or personal life for that matter, I have now received a shocking education Like jumping into a lake much colder than the tepid waters you were expecting, Nice Girls startles you with realization, while you emerge refreshed because of it If Nice Girls was a friend, it would be the one who says, yes, you really do look fat in that outfit, but here s another that will accentuate what a wonderful body you actually have See, it is not mean it is truthful with gems of coaching advice Frankel does not leave you hanging she will tell you outright how you are shooting yourself in the foot, but then she will remove the gun from your hand and replace it with bandages and antiseptic I have borrowed this one from the public library, but will be adding it my personal library This is too valuable of a resource to not own and be able to refer back to until these life changing tips become healthy habits As we change and grow our areas that we reference to in this book will also change, and I would like to have the ability to take and retake the questionnaire, that guides you through the book, as often as I like Frankly, I m not sure I know than three or four women who don t need to read this book originally posted on www.coconutlibrary.typepad.com

  4. says:

    This book was exciting at first, but then turn to uncomfortable First, It made me feel that being a Girl itself is a guilt, acting like a girl, thinking like a girl is not recommended in work place So basically this book tell people how to act like a man because high positions are mostly held by man If you don t see a man do this, you should not do this Second, it provide too many no right no wrong recommend for both gender, but still emphasize only female worker often do this and that, but male co worker don t Reading the examples I feel that all the male s thinking, behavior are perfect This book is not show girls how to find their deserve equality in work place but tell them to follow a man model role, to copy those successful male s behavior and thinking.However, there are some good tips in this book that I will keep in mind such as stop being a nice, cute girl I didn t read the English version of this book , the rest is just so so and you can find those in any self help book.

  5. says:

    I must confess that I started this book with a lot of skepticism I am a feminist and I do not like to be told what I need to change in order to fit to a men s world I would always prefer to change the world.Besides that, the fact that the heading of each mini chapter is always titled mistake and that goes on from mistake 1 t0 mistake 300 got my head fuming It is direct yes, but also pretty arrogant.Those two points aside, I would recommend every woman to read this book Not only girls, not only business woman, not only carrier woman Every woman.I have a rule of thumb or three If a book makes me wonder and take breaks while reading it to let my thoughts wander,if a book helps me get to to know myself better,and if a book makes a change in my life It was a book worth reading And this was a book worth reading.Many pages felt like slaps on my face Many mistakes were things I do Will I necessarily change all of them to get where I want No But now I am aware of them and their impact Now I have control over my flaws Some of the mistakes I will change, because they were never actions I consciously decided to do They were instilled messages from society, culture and family, that I carry around with me.or me most important point I take from this read, valid from now I will never again apologize for winning

  6. says:

    This is the first book I read from the bibliography of Anne Kreamer s It s Always Personal Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace, and I found it much skills based and practical The author s main theme is, Quit being a girl, by which she means to toot your own horn and stand up for yourself because high quality work alone won t get you noticed and promoted The corporate world is prejudiced against girls and can t envision them beyond the secretarial pool Women, in contrast, get ahead with the right efforts.The first chapter contains a questionnaire of the very true sometimes true sometimes false very false variety with questions as diverse as, Do you apply lipstick in public and Do you phrase your statements as questions Each of these questions relates to one of seven categories 1 how you act 2 think 3 work 4 play 5 look 6 sound 7 market Each category has its own chapter, so the author recommends that you read the chapters corresponding to the areas in which you scored lowest My lowest scores were in act, play, and market, but I think my worst drawback is my soft soprano voice Other than taking voice lessons, which I can t afford anyway, there s not much I can do about it Interestingly, my best score was in look, which just goes to show that modesty in dress enhances a woman s respectability But this self promoting stuff that goes against the tzniusdiggeh grain.According to the book, though, there s plenty else I can do, and while I was reading it, I definitely applied some of its advice, like insisting that my boss stop sending me out to Starbucks and engaging in office chit chat because relationships matter But it s been a few weeks since then, and I ve fallen back into my old passive ways Still, it was good advice, and I intend to read from this author and the books she cites I wish I d learned these lessons long ago

  7. says:

    I just finished reading this book in an effort to teach myself how to stop doing all of those little things that sabotage the advancement of my career I m not currently looking for a new job even though I should be but I d still like to work on improving my skills and stop downplaying my abilities.Things I already know I act nice to get people on my side, meanwhile, forgetting about my own needs because I want everyone to like me I also say I m sorry a lot and don t know how to toot my own horn.What I need to do instead make decisions without polling others for opinions and deliver direction without wavering I need to let my confidence come across so that the people I am speaking with know I mean what I say and they ll stop questioning or undermining me.As a woman in the workplace, it can be difficult to overcome the pressures and teachings of society, parents and peers to be a good girl by going with the flow and not being assertive to get needs met I believe women need to learn how to be empowered on their own because they certainly aren t getting it from others Empowerment for women doesn t mean you have to be a over controlling bitch or a whining nag We certainly cannot act like men because we aren t men but we can find that balance that I find myself craving.With this book as a guide, I hope to learn where to go from here The title contains a clue that 101 mistakes cannot be fixed within one book so the author wisely points them out and then refers the reader to another specific book to help with a particular or group of particular mistakes.Not only am I going to use what I learn to help myself but I m going to use it to teach my four year old daughter the same It is important to me that she knows she is smart and that her ideas and thoughts matter just as much as the next person s.

  8. says:

    Easy to read and some quite useful tips It would be nice if someday, we, as a society, ever get to a time when men aren t advantaged in business by their sex and women didn t have to make themselves over just to get ahead.

  9. says:

    I had an epiphany like moment over and over again when Frankel points out that when people shame a woman for unladylike behavior, it s not because there is such a shameful thing as unladylike behavior, it s because it s the easiest and most effective means of getting whatever it is they want out of you Because we ve been so conditioned to be pleasing to others, accusing a woman of behaving in an unpleasing manner is like an automatic shut off button that manipulative people use against us Accusations and implications of this manner have no basis in reality, it s just a means of shutting us up and keeping us out I d downloaded several other career advice audiobooks before this one, as I was looking for career advice because I m a new grad starting my first corporate job I found the other new grad career advice books rather trite and unhelpful I was hesitant about this purchase because I wasn t worried about snagging the corner office, so much as just getting started, but I am so glad I found this gem as I begin my journey through the corporate world I m so impressed with the book I intend on buying copies for female friends as graduation presents I also loved that Frankel recommends a plethora of other resources and career coaching books throughout She is a generous author who never fails to cite and recommend her influences, a rare skill in a world of self promotional and narcissistic branding I know a lot of women will bristle at Frankel s direct advice that hacks away at traditional femininity in a perfect world, we should be able to be ourselves at work and get ahead but we don t live in that world, and a subtle idea in this book is that perhaps many of the soft fuzzy nice girl characteristics women have aren t inherent, so much as conditioned, and in the process of unconditioning ourselves, we find out how human we really are Frankel doesn t waste time pining for an idealistic world this book isn t for idealistic women, it s for ambitious women who want to succeed and thrive in the world that exists Success in the corporate world, like it or not, entails conformity Frankel points out the mistakes women are making in regards to that expectation of conformity in terms of how we prioritize performing gender over performing our jobs.And at times it s a bitter pill to swallow Nearly all the advice comes back to stop acting like a coy little girl put on your big girl panties and step up to the plate It s hard because it forced me to confront how infantalized some of my behaviors are As girls there are many emotional developmental areas where we re not encouraged to grow Girls are protected from overcoming many barriers, like failure, and consequently there is a kind of emotional stunting that we turn a blind eye to and justify through the idea of inherent gender characteristics And our society will let us tread water here in that emotional retardation for the rest of our lives, but if you want to get ahead, you have to get over it Frankel s book is the first step on that path because she simply made me aware of what was in my blind spot The book holds up a mirror if you don t like what you see, it s on you to change it.

  10. says:

    Another book with a tacky title that I have bypassed every time I ve seen it But browsing in the library one day I decided to give it a try and I m glad I did I always knew that I was a typical girl in finding it difficult to negotiate money, but I thought that was it After reading through this book which doesn t take long as you can easily skip over irrelevant sections , I have realized that I actually am making a bunch of mistakes at work that are not benefiting my career This book helped me take conscious stock of what I need to change if I want to improve my performance and I have come up with a list of specific points to focus on for my personal career development.

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